Batman Arkham doodlez
by Metropolice
Summary: Batman has misadventurez. Rated M for Smexi buttsecks shipping and FNAF furfagging


**Batman: Arkham doodlez**

 **Written by Sully the Sexmaster and Metro-Police**

Batman was standing on a rooftop in the knight, (Lmao that pun tho) looking for some random thugs to beat the shit out of, when he got a transmission from Robin.

" _I think I'm eating a new type of plant."_ Robin said.

Batman facepalmed in disbelief. "Wtf man? Black foxys? Robin dating plants? The fuck nigga?"

Now Batman was on the situation. Then he heard his comm get a new call. It was Alfred.

" _Oh dear sir,"_ Alfred said worriedly, _"It seems that Black Mask has hired the black foxys."_

Batman sighed. "The nigga cloned the nigga that got his arm bit off? Damn, that's edgy."

" _Indeed sir. Too edgy,_ Alfred replied. _"Perhaps you should investigate."_

Batman frowned. "I already know who is behind this."

" _Indeed. You ARE the worlds greatest detective. Who did this?"_

"Autists." Batman simply said.

 _"Are you sure Master Bruce? Autists seem to be too stupid too pull this off, especially working with Black Mask."_

Batman's eyes widened in realization. "He must have bribed them.. probably with fanfics!"

 _"Oh dear. Sir, this is more serious then I realized. You should call Robin to help!"_

Batman shook his head."He's a furfag too, probably erping with some 40 year old in his basement!"

Alfred shook his head, his suit moving audible in the transmission. _"I'm pretty sure last time he was with Poison Ivy, and he isn't a furfag, that is Nightwing sir."_

Alfred began to speak again, when the transmission was interrupted. A prepubescent voice piped from the transmission.

 _"Fuck him too, know I wanna fuck foxy!"_

 _"Oh dear sir. I think that was Nightwing."_ Alfred said, sounding distressed.

Batman frowned again."No... It was that faggot from the grocery store, Riddler!"

Robin's voice piped from Batman's earpiece, and what sounded like Poison Ivy moaning in the background. _"Sorry bats, kinda eating out a plant over here!"_

Alfred's voice came back through. _"Oh dear sir. You have to do this yourself, what are you going to do?"_

"Masturbate to e621," Batman said.

 _"But sir, you must take down Black Mask's autists and the Riddler! Foxy could be in danger!"_

"Why would Foxy be in danger? Aren't you a filthy immigrant peasant?" Batman growled.

 _"Because Riddler wanted to er, you know, foxy!"_

Batman shook his head again. "Foxy is dom furfag. Besides, that is the Floating Black Guys' business, not mine m80"

Robin's voice was audible again. _"Man, never knew plants tasted this good!"_ And Poison Ivy moaned even louder in the background.

Alfred's voice came back, with an idea. _"Oh. Perhaps you should er..."Subdue" Catwoman."_

"WHY THE FUCK IS ROBIN AT OLIVE GARDEN!?" Batman yelled.

Poison Ivy apparently had gotten ahold of Robin's comm, because her voice came through. _"Robin isn't at-AH!~ at Olive Garden."_

"Dammit, bitch," Batman muttered. "Pick up subtly. And why are you guys on my radio? I dont wanna hear that bullshit"

 _"Well, it's hard to AH~ talk on a radio while getting-OHHH MMM laid by Boy Wonder~"_ Poison Ivy moaned over the radio.

 _"Dear Lord sir, it seems Poison Ivy is being more of a slut again"_ Alfred said.

"Does Riddler and Black Mask know that "Foxy" is just that black guard that got his hand bit off?" Batman said curiously.

 _"Er, It would be rather good to inform him."_ Alfred responded.

Batman nodded, and then called up Riddler. "Yow Riddler, You there? That "Foxy" Is just the black dude from Arkham"

Riddler simply responded with hostility. _"Fuck off, trying to find Foxy porn."_

Suddenly Aaron Cash's voice was audible in the background. _"Nigga get the fuck off the internet, you going to jail now!"_

 _"Oh dear."_ Alfred said.

Riddler growled in the transmission. _"Fuck, ill go... Jeez, cant a guy get some privacy?"_

Killer Croc's voice suddenly came through. _"U wot m8?"_

Batman facepalmed. "This shit is autism... I'm going home to masturbate."

" _I'm staying here,"_ Robin said. With Ivy moaning more loudly in the back ground saying _"Oh god Robin yessss don't stop. Ahh..."_

Freddy Fazbear slammed his fist down in frustration. "Wow, this fanfiction sucks!"

Batman fell over from being sp00ked "afsdadsfafgadfhafgdhjdfhwetqqrqrq!"

Chica looked down at Batman. "Okay then." Then Chica walked away.

Batman got up, putting his hands to his head in anger and confusion. "What the fuck!? If you're... Then where's... WHAT RETARDED WORLD AM I IN RIGHT NOW?!"

Batman felt someone tap his leg. He looked down. There stood Balloon Boy, grinning.

"It's simple," Balloon Boy said. "You're in Hell."

Batman snapped his fingers in realization. "Wait a minute... I know whats going on. Scarecrow! His gas is making me revisit autismland." Batman said, gaining his sanity back.

Scarecrow's eyes widened in fear. "Shet! Time to skedaddle!"

Scarecrow began to run away.

But Batman was already ready for the booty. "Come back here motherfucker!" Batman pursued Scarecrow.

 **THE END LMAO NEWFAGS HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT**


End file.
